Saat Diriku Menerima Hidayah

Assalamualaikum..

Since this is my 1st entry, so its better if i write something bout my life, how i changed, hope that it'll give you some inspiration to change and become a better person. I'm not saying that i am a good person, well since i am still learning, and still changing to be a better person, from time to time, and hopefully will always be, till my last breath. InsyaAllah...

It all begins when i was in form1. Actually at that time, baru je pindah ke Kuala Terengganu from Kuala Lumpur. A girl who used to live in a big city, then suddenly have to live in a small town, quite a shock for me at that time. Well i still can adapt even though there were no malls there in KT.. hahaha.. joking2.. Thats not the main point. What i'm trying to say is, i had to enter a school where it is a compulsory for you to wear a big jilbab, selabuh paras siku, tu pun minimum. And it drives me crazy because even cikgu2 n certain ustazah kat situ pun pakai tudung biasa2, x de la selabuh students. Its hard for me to accept it at first. Kan dah cakap, aku ni x lah baik mana pun.

As the time passed by, i got to know bout hand socks when one of my friends wear it. Tiba2, ntah datang dari mana, i felt like want to wear hand socks too. So i ask my aunt in KB, if she knows where to buy it (aku ni jenis x keluar rumah, so xtau pasal kedai2 ni). Then my aunt pun bawa la pergi satu kedai ni, and i was so excited. Since that, alhamdulillah, till now, i still wear them, never leave them. See, it happened suddenly. Since they come in many designs and colours, u can make fashion with them, so no excuse la kan kalu you all nak pakai hand socks ni, kan. There are no such thing as "hand socks, so old fashion". And just for your info, your hands which at the hairless part, the color of the skin actually almost similar to your breast color. So cute2 girls out there, please kalau tak nak pakai hand socks pun, tutup lengan anda ok.

 Next is how i start to wear socks. Well actually, i dont really feel comfortable when wearing shoes without any socks. Rasa macam berwap je kaki ni. So since i love to wear shoes rather than sandals, i got no choice but have to wear socks as well. And alhamdulillah, even if i wear sandals, stokin tetap di kaki ku..hahaha.. Bila duk kat asrama masa form4, issue pakai stokin or pemaksaan memakai stokin is not my main problem. And 1 more thing, it feels uneasy if people could see your feet. Orang akan tahu warna kulit kaki kita, ada kudis ke tak, susunan jari jemari kaki, warna tumit dan lain-lain lagi lah and do you know, all of that have their own meaning. So macam scary dan sangat2 lah tak selesa kalu orang boleh tengok kaki kita especially boys. That is one of my reason why i wear socks instead of letting me myself barefooted.

Ok so kita pergi semula kepada issue jilbab (tudung labuh) tadi. Yes, i wear it since form1 but only at school. Kalau keluar pergi mana-mana, i just wear tudung bawal yang kebiasaannya jarang tu. One day in matrik, i looked at my surroundings. There are 2 groups of students that i used to observe, one which is wearing jilbab and the other is simple tudung or shawl. But somehow, the jilbab group always caught my attention. Nampak sedap mata memandang. Nampak manis. I always thought, if i am a man, i will choose those girls who wear jilbab as my wife. Why? Sebab sedap mata memandang. Tak terdedah aurat mereka. Yes you all pakai tudung, ada yang tutup dada, but do you think that sufficient enough? Well kalu dari pandangan depan maybe la, tapi dari pandangan tepi or sisi you all, kalu tak cukup labuh, sure akan nampak bentuk dada anda tu, so adakah tu boleh dikategorikan sebagai menutup aurat? Thats my point of view if i am a man, since i am a woman, so what i thought at that time is, aku akan lebih selamat kalu berpakaian sedemikian. Tiada mata-mata liar yang akan memandang tubuh ku. Tapi, aku x cukup baik untuk pakai tudung labuh. Banyak lagi perkara lain yang perlu diperbaiki, tak nak la nanti orang cakap "dia tu, tudung je labuh, tapi perangai..."..haaaa.. Then, when will i get the chance to wear jilbab? Kalau nak tunggu berubah semuanya, sampai bila-bila pun i will never gonna have the chance to wear it. So why not if we just terbalik kan keadaan, that is what came in my mind. Why not i just wear jilbab, then change the rest later on slowly. Macam orang solat, tak semuanya baik kan. But what i'm really, absolutely sure is that, sesiapa yang jaga solatnya, amalannya juga akan terjaga. Apa yang nak disamakan is, if you jaga your outfit, the way you dress, somehow it'll influence your attitude. And yes, my theory works. Alhamdulillah, after wearing hijab, slowly the rest of my attitude also change. Hey but dont you worry. I am a very crazy person, siapa cakap pakai tudung labuh mesti kena ayu, sopan-santun kan..hahaha.. I still can be a hyperactive person. And who said that if you wear jilbab, it will limits your fashion? Owh man, thats SO WRONG!! That statement is so NOT COOL!! Look at me, i still can wear beautiful clothes, be as fashionable as i want to but of course la yang mengikut syarak seperti x jarang, x ketat dan lain-lain lagi. By the way, if you wear baju yang ketat-ketat, men so not fall for you..hahaha..no seriously not a joke, they only want to have fun with you.

"Wahai nabi (Muhammad), suruhlah kepada isteri-isteri kamu, anak-anak perempuan kamu dan wanita-wanita beriman agar melabuhkan jilbab (pakaian bagi menutup seluruh tubuh) mereka (semasa mereka keluar), cara yang demikian itu lebih sesuai untuk mereka dikenal (sebagai perempuan yang baik-baik) maka dengan itu mereka tidak diganggu. Dan (ingatlah) Allah Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Pengasihani (terhadap dosa kamu di masa lalu)."

( Surah al-Azhab, ayat 59 )

Hati ni dah melonjak-lonjak nak pakai tudung labuh/hand socks/stokin, tapi takut kalau-kalau tak istiqamah!

Well siapa cakap kalau kita nak berubah especially ke jalan Allah (fiisabilillah) tidak akan ada sebarang dugaan?? Girls, i felt the same way also for those 3 things. Yes, memang susah masa mula-mula start. I just wrote it simple how i started wearing these 3 things, but i dont have the interest to write bout what are the obstacle i faced. Dont wanna make you girls feel afraid. Actually tak la susah mana pun. Memang syaitan akan sentiasa berusaha sedaya upaya berjihad bermati-matian untuk mengelakkan cucu Adam a.s daripada melakukan kebaikan ke jalan yang Allah redhai. Thats normal. Tapi jangan takut, godaan tu sekejap je. If you girls have the feeling to start wearing any of these 3 items, then dont let any obstacle stop you. Allah is always with you, so jangan takut, ok. ^^,

“Call upon Me; I will respond to you.” [40:60]

So renung-renungkan dan selamat beramal!